


Thank God for Tall Dark Bastards

by aldiara



Category: Alles was zaehlt
Genre: Alles was zählt - Freeform, Ficlet, Gen, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-02
Updated: 2010-10-02
Packaged: 2017-10-12 08:44:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/123049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aldiara/pseuds/aldiara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The first time Jenny tries to steal his gay, Roman's already in a vulnerable state."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thank God for Tall Dark Bastards

The first time Jenny tries to steal his gay, Roman’s already in a vulnerable state. He’s in the movie theatre, next to Jenny, watching _Titanic_. All around them, pubescent girls are sighing and murmuring wistfully while Roman stares at the screen and tries to hold onto his recently claimed sexual identity with all the fierce determination of his fourteen years.

The problem is he finds Leonardo DiCaprio violently off-putting. To the point where he discovers he’d rather be doing Kate Winslet.

This is a problem. A big problem.

So when Jenny leans over in the dark, her long hair swinging against the side of his face, and tries to kiss him, Roman’s defences are already down. She firmly pushes her mouth against his and even manages a swipe of tongue between his lips before he shoves her back, hissing, “Jenny, I _told_ you! _I am gay_!”

Though with that scrawny milksop on the screen, he feels like he needs to convince himself as well, at the moment.

He’s only known her for a few months, but already he can tell that she’s pouting just from the sound of her voice. “Just checking! Sheesh.”

She leans back with an exaggerated huffing noise and crosses her arms. Roman moves away from her as far as his narrow seat will allow, only to brush up against the girl seated on his other side. She turns her face towards him, and the light from the screen is just bright enough that he can see wide blue eyes, filled with tears, puffy lips and a red nose. She smiles at him tremulously, bats tear-soaked lashes.

Roman stammers an apology and hurriedly scoots back towards Jenny, who takes this as an invitation to put her hand on his thigh.

It’s all deeply terrifying. He feels the need to voice this. “This is all deeply terrifying,” he says out loud.

“I _know_ , right?” sobs the girl on his left side, while Jenny snickers and snuggles up against him with her head on his shoulder. Her fingers are dancing playfully across the inseam of his jeans. Roman swats ineffectually at her.

And then salvation appears in the form of Billy Zane. He struts into the scene like a knight in a perfectly tailored suit, a dangerous glower on his smooth features and not a hair out of place on his slick dark head. Roman stares as he orders people around, waves a gun, rolls wide shoulders under the smooth lines of his dinner jacket. A huge wave of relief washes over Roman and brings his hard-earned gay flooding back. Ok, so Caledon Hockley’s a total bastard, and Roman makes a mental note not to turn “tall, dark and bastardy” into his regular type or anything, but… he’s also sex on legs and Roman desperately wants to suck his cock.

He slumps back in his seat, so relieved that he can’t even bring himself to care about Jenny, who’s currently trying to lick his ear.

“Thank _god_ ”, he murmurs.


End file.
